Jack Knight Songwriting Academy
Where your word's become art, and your thought's become music
{EVERYONE READ} TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ON THE START OF MY FIRST SONG IVE EVER WRITTEN..
So i've just started one of my first songs i've ever written..
I think it's okay for my first attempt..
The pat I've done came into my head as like a chorus..
So tell me what u think..
Yeah so this is what I've come up with so far:
I need to follow my heart and take that chance, instead of laying low,
I'll spread my wings, be free and let destiny play its roll,
You think its stupid chasing a dream; you say it only happens to one in a million,
Well who says I can’t be that one, open your heart, open your eyes and just believe in me.
I know its not much, but its a start?
I'd love it if you guys would leave some feedback on what i could do to improve it or even help me with some ideas on verses?
I'd really appriciate it! :) ♥
I think it's okay for my first attempt..
The pat I've done came into my head as like a chorus..
So tell me what u think..
Yeah so this is what I've come up with so far:
I need to follow my heart and take that chance, instead of laying low,
I'll spread my wings, be free and let destiny play its roll,
You think its stupid chasing a dream; you say it only happens to one in a million,
Well who says I can’t be that one, open your heart, open your eyes and just believe in me.
I know its not much, but its a start?
I'd love it if you guys would leave some feedback on what i could do to improve it or even help me with some ideas on verses?
I'd really appriciate it! :) ♥
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by TheMovement on -
I KNOW I'M KIND OF LATE BUT HEY BETTER LATE THAN NEVER........I WOULD ONLY SUGGEST SHORTENING THE LINES A LITTLE BIT REARRANGING OR EVEN RE=WORDING A LINE OR 2 GIVE AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE......FOR EXAMPLE:
I'M READY TO SPREAD MY WINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME
READY TO SHINE ON THE WORLD WITH MY LIGHT
ONE IN A MILLION THEY SAY THATS WHAT MY CHANCES ARE
BUT IF I BELIEVED THE ODDS I NEVER WOULD'VE GOT THIS FAR
JUST ANOTHER WAY TO LOOK AT IT.....HOPE IT WAS USEFUL .....KEEP IN TOUCH
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Permalink Reply by Jade-Sharna on -
I havent been on here in AGES but THANK YOU!
I love what you've done, It flows really nice etc.
Jade-Sharna
xoxo
kompozitionz said:I KNOW I'M KIND OF LATE BUT HEY BETTER LATE THAN NEVER........I WOULD ONLY SUGGEST SHORTENING THE LINES A LITTLE BIT REARRANGING OR EVEN RE=WORDING A LINE OR 2 GIVE AS MUCH DETAIL AS POSSIBLE......FOR EXAMPLE:
I'M READY TO SPREAD MY WINGS FOR THE FIRST TIME
READY TO SHINE ON THE WORLD WITH MY LIGHT
ONE IN A MILLION THEY SAY THATS WHAT MY CHANCES ARE
BUT IF I BELIEVED THE ODDS I NEVER WOULD'VE GOT THIS FAR
JUST ANOTHER WAY TO LOOK AT IT.....HOPE IT WAS USEFUL .....KEEP IN TOUCH
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