Jack Knight Songwriting Academy
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Don't tell me you love her
Here is a peice I wrote the other day.... I never write to a beta or music in mind so sometimes I need my smart people, such as yourself to offer some advice... Its a female speaking her mind to the male but was not sure if it needed a pre chrous or should leave it the way it is? WHAT do you all think? also I know the syllaball count is off in the one verse compareed to the next but I figured that could be fixed if I ever collab on it.... Please tell me what you think
Don’t tell me you love her (c)2009 / Jan 7th Stephanie Ankner , BMI
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
VS1
I know you, I know what your about.
I spent many years being faithful to you
even those times when I had my doubts
I always put myself into check, …
and told myself it was nothing.
that my mind was playing tricks
Vs 2
I believed that b******* ,..for so damm long.
That it became who and what I was
I acted like nothing was really wrong..
Pre Chorus
NEEDS A PRE CHROUS
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
VS3
I knew all along there was something going on
but I loved you so much,.. that I preteneded.
So I kept my eyes closed and
didn’t speak about how often you were gone
I guess I just hoped that in the end
You’d call it off with her,
that things would go back to normal
and that we would be even closer
BUT
Vs4
When you started to become more distant,
Sometimes forgeting to come home
I knew then that it was really over then
so I walked away with out resistant
I Let you go, with what you think is better
Cuz deep down inside, I know you don’t love her
So
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
REPEATS
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....you don’t even know Love’s value..
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
I don’t want to here your story
cause all your promises are empty
Don’t tell me you love her (c)2009 / Jan 7th Stephanie Ankner , BMI
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
VS1
I know you, I know what your about.
I spent many years being faithful to you
even those times when I had my doubts
I always put myself into check, …
and told myself it was nothing.
that my mind was playing tricks
Vs 2
I believed that b******* ,..for so damm long.
That it became who and what I was
I acted like nothing was really wrong..
Pre Chorus
NEEDS A PRE CHROUS
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
VS3
I knew all along there was something going on
but I loved you so much,.. that I preteneded.
So I kept my eyes closed and
didn’t speak about how often you were gone
I guess I just hoped that in the end
You’d call it off with her,
that things would go back to normal
and that we would be even closer
BUT
Vs4
When you started to become more distant,
Sometimes forgeting to come home
I knew then that it was really over then
so I walked away with out resistant
I Let you go, with what you think is better
Cuz deep down inside, I know you don’t love her
So
Chrous
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....You don’t even know how to
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
Don’t tell me you love her
cause all your promises are empty
REPEATS
Don’t tell me you love her,
....I know that ain’t true.
Don’t tell me you love her
....you don’t even know Love’s value..
Don’t tell me you love her
...when you couldn’t even love me
I don’t want to here your story
cause all your promises are empty
Tags: female, love, lyrics, male, music, rnb
Views: 0
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Ankner on -
correction here
VS1
I know you, I know what your about.
I spent many years being faithful to you,
even those times when I had my doubts.
I always put myself into check,
Told myself it was nothing,
that my mind was just playing tricks -
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Permalink Reply by Pearl on -
Hey Steph, what happened to vs 2, its shorter. I like the essense and message as well as the way you build up the story. The chorus is good cause the words will be easy to use I guess but its hard for me to say more when there isnt a melody to work with.
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Ankner on
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Yeah your two is shorter ... I was thinking of adding more... Thank you for your kind comments... Hugs to you:) ... Yeah I wish I had melodie to write to but I just write and do not have a musical bone in my body... lol.. Oh well... Thats why I like getting crtiques cause I know where i can get help and advice from those who are musically devoloped lol..
Thank you -
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Permalink Reply by Jonathan S. Beatty on -
I have an idea for a melody but I would love to have my producer make me a beat with live instruments. It has a band appeal to it that would rock in a live set with a strong female vocal. Let me see what I can come up with and I will send a rough draft then a recorded version to you later. As you can tell, I am really feeling this song!
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Permalink Reply by Thedy B on -
Stephanie, to your statement/belief that you don't have a musical bone in your body, this may sound weird but Kirk Franklin has this song called Melodies from Heaven and it goes, Melodies from Heaven, rain down on me, rain down on me. He's got a couple of songs like that, songs that sort of say there's music in the air.
For me, I took that as my prayer to start hearing the music/melodies that's in the air waiting for a vessel to bring them to life.
Stephanie Ankner said:Yeah your two is shorter ... I was thinking of adding more... Thank you for your kind comments... Hugs to you:) ... Yeah I wish I had melodie to write to but I just write and do not have a musical bone in my body... lol.. Oh well... Thats why I like getting crtiques cause I know where i can get help and advice from those who are musically devoloped lol..
Thank you -
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