Dear Teresa Ann Ross

It's been months . And my recollection of you fades with time .
Not that it's my intention to erase my own memory ..
I won't forget events in my timeline, or any important words you spoke to me .

But I want to preserve a part of you in my mind .
It's long overdue that I strike what I've built .. and lock the image . Of you .

Do you know who you are ?

You may have forgotten . Because you're different today .
But you used to be somebody .. unbelievable .

You were a dream come true . Everyday .
And a hope never lost . Anchored heavily and true .
You were real .
I knew of your depth .. yet I dared not tread beyond shallow water .

Your welcome was a warmth ..
That would easily subdue the air around me .
And continue to envelop my spirit .

You had me absolutely yours .
Did you ever know ?

Your words so pure, my heart would have stopped at your slightest verbal command
Should you ever speak it done .
And you would be the only divine being on the surface of this earth
Who could accelerate my heart to race again ..
With nothing more than a simple glance .

Your beauty was a challenge to appreciate .. in truth it was a universe in itself .
As it filled infinite dimensions .. composing an endless symphony .
And its potential was far too immense to be held in the very world you lived in .

But I appointed myself to that solitary journey ..
And embarked on a chain of blissful discovery
Of everything .
Everything inside of you .

And granted, if my heart took the greatest capacity of courage ..


Then maybe I'd know for sure
If this is where I was truly meant to be .

Underneath the most stars I'd ever seen in my life .
On a porch stairway foreign to me ..

Sitting one step below, and an arm's length away ..
From the most beautiful girl .. ever to grace my life story .

We were there together .. and I was a nervous wreck .
I couldn't speak . And I wouldn't dare look your way .
I was afraid my words would slip ..

And I would tell you .. you're beautiful .
Then instantly end up despising myself for using such incompetent words .

You had no idea ..
It was the first time I'd ever experienced for myself ..
The supreme elegance which moonlight has the power to reveal .
In you .

I was no match for the velocity bound inside of me .
It was inevitable that I would lose to it soon ..
And something . Just .. something .. would escape me ..
And reach you .
And you would finally know .

That I loved you .

...
And it .. escaped .
...
That's when you changed .

...

You no longer wished to speak to me .
When I tried my best to talk to you ..
I was only responded to with hostility ..
And annoyance . And cruelty .

It was all so sudden .
I surely could not understand why you had become so cold-hearted towards me .
Out of everything I'd been through with you ..
This was brand new .

I contacted you to ask how you were doing ..
And it only upset you .
You spoke to me rashly and casually .. cursing and being coarse
Like never before .. as if I was a nobody to you ..
Or a nobody to everybody .

I felt as if you had totally shifted . And I was afraid to know the truth .
You were like a completely different or rather, opposite person .
Or maybe you just forgot .. who I used to be to you .

This was the last time I'd spoken to you .

..... .....

And also .. a leading motivator in composing this letter of sorts .

Believe me .. I will not act as though I truly understand you now .
But I will also keep myself from being anymore of a bother to you .
And I know I made you aware of that upon our last conversation .

I just wanted to let you know ..
I am finally ready to close this chapter in the book of my life .
After everything we had been through .. which was indeed valuable ..

I guess this is where our story ends .

I just wanted you to have a final understanding
toward my definition of our time together .
I will not immortalize you in my mind as a terrible person .
You will be one of the very few people I will forever remember .

Please accept these parting words .

You will always be inside my definition of 'beautiful' .
Even though you may dislike me or no longer care for me ..
There will always be a special place for you in my heart and memory .
A place that has been crafted by you .. during the period in which we existed as one .
You are loved . By an entire world of people .
Don't ever doubt your worth . You are absolutely priceless .
Any man who does not see that .. is not even worthy of your eye contact .
Your way to success clearly exists . Please do not give up on yourself .
Extraordinary things require hard work to reach . And I learned that through you .
Be honest with yourself . You deserve the best of all things .
Don't ever be ashamed of your wonderful smile .
And please don't second-guess your beauty .
Never allow yourself to be abused .. you must be treated as the queen you are .
Aim beyond what you expect for yourself . You're far greater than that .

I won't be finding myself in your life any longer so I sure hope I've said all that's necessary . I'm sure I've covered all that I wanted to assess .

I know this isn't the best way to convey such strong emotion .. but if you're meant to know these things, then I know you'll find your way here naturally .

And since you probably won't want to talk to me .. I've left all of this here for you to read at your own pace .. if you choose to read it at all .

Have a great life .. wherever you go . And good luck with whatever you're doing .
I hope you're well ..

If there's one mental picture to keep ..
Let it be the moment we shared
On the porch steps of your house .

Underneath the most stars I'd ever seen in my entire life .

Thank you for showing them to me .
And thank you for teaching me to be a better person .

.......
This chapter in my book of life as now been closed.
.......